Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Stalker Swine

As I have mentioned in the past, I admire how Parguayns don’t let any part of the animals they butcher go to waste. They use every little bit. However I do not like it when I’m feel like I’m being stalked by those every little bits.

Sometimes Marcia accepts payment into the form of something other than cash from her patients. Recently payment came in the form of a pig. I discovered said payment about 2 weeks ago when I opened up the freezer to put a 2liter jug of Tang to cool down.

There he was, all of him, the whole pig, just laying in the freezer. Thankfully I saw the back legs first, instead of the head. I can’t help but wonder which flat surface they used to cut of the head, and if they actually sanitized the surface afterwards. I swear there were two bloody smudges on the edge of the freezer where the handle is.

(Note the bloody handprints that are still at the rim of the freezer on the right hand side *Heeby geebies)
Eventually they cut off the pig’s head so that the body would lay flat, probably so that his slit open stomach wouldn’t be so exposed. The pig sat there for probably a week or so. Unfortunately sometimes they left the freezer top open or didn’t plug it in, so I can’t image the meat was very clean. However one day I opened the freezer and didn’t see the little feet sticking out. I slowly leaned farther into the freezer, just to check and see that it was all gone and they hadn’t left a bloody mess in its place. Op nope not all gone. They left the head in the freezer!

I was told the body when to Anibal’s parents house, but I have no idea why they decided to leave the head behind. Anyway, the decapitated pig head sat in the freezer by itself for a few more days. 3 days ago a huge storm blew through and knocked out power for several hours. When lunch rolled around I went to heat up some left over chili on the gas-powered stove. I couldn’t turn on the lights, but the kitchen has lots of windows, so I didn’t have trouble finding my way around. When I went to get a pot from under the sink, I noticed that there was something sitting there. In the dark it looked like a strange pile of leafy vegetables. Of course as I got closer I realized that, yes, they left the pig head in the sink. I about fell over and took a few steps back. I had quickly gotten used to the body and the head sitting in the freezer, but why do they have to keep surprising me like that. Goodness people, if you are going to leave a head sitting in a sink, why not give the vegetarian a heads up so I don’t have to get light-headed from inhaling so fast. It didn’t help that it smelled funny. Ugg, I made my chili and left the dirty dishes next to the sink since obviously I was not going to hazard trying to clear myself a space.

I knew that the defrosting head, though I highly doubt it was frozen in the first place since the freezer was hardly ever plugged in, meant they were probably going to have it for dinner soon. I avoided looking into any of the large pots on the stove or into the oven that afternoon and the next day. However on Saturday evening when I went to prepare my standard popcorn dinner, there was a very gross smell in the kitchen and I could tell Marcia had something in the oven. I didn’t look, but she opened the oven door while I was standing nearby, thus revealing a pig jaw, complete with teeth, and other meats bits and letting out a nice big waft of smelly cooked pig, which does not smell anything like bacon by the way. My shoulders cringed as I turned around and started walking out of the kitchen. Anibal caught my grimace and we both started laughing a bit. Again I knew there was pig bits in the oven, but it shocked me a bit to see the jaw itself on the tray, and the smell didn’t help. Oh goodness, Marcia cooks the meat her patients give her, ugg, the smell is just revolting.

I figured after they had the pig bits for dinner that night, I wouldn’t have to worry about any more startling encounters with the little porker. I was wrong. I opened up the freezer and was welcomed by the leftovers of the pig-head dinner sitting in the freezer. The jaw was still there.


Conchita said...

Oh Lyndsay! I laughed so hard reading your post. The little porker looks like a suckling pig which is very tasty! Some might say the head is the best part...atleast that's what my mom would say!

L Jolley said...

I hope it was tasty for them, otherwise I had the geepers scared out of me for nothing.