You'll Be a Good Dog... But For Now, You Are a Bad Puppy

Rolls of toilet paper shredded: 4-5

Shoe, blanket, jacket thefts: too many to count (3 today)

Bags of rice destroyed: 2

Stole a bag of potatoes and scattered them about the yard

Bags of salt destroyed: 1

Bags of sugar destroyed: 1

Innumerable plastic bags shredded

Steals and shreds floor mats

Destroyed his dog bed

Takes the blankets and sheets off of their shelf and lays on them with muddy feet

Chewed through rope leash I tied him up in the yard with 3-4 times

Destroyed his rope walking leash 3-4 times, until I bought a chain one, then he destroyed the cloth handle

Tore several pages out of Victor’s Anna Karina book

Destroyed a newly purchased bag of 2 dozen eggs: 5 survived intact

Tooth brushed destroyed: 2

Razors destroyed: 2-3

Bottles of conditioner punctured: 2

Takes clean laundry off of the clothes line

Pairs of underwear torn up: 1

Pairs of missing underwear: 1 (that I know of)

Only jumps on me with muddy feet when I’m wearing clean clothes and need to speak with someone important. Jumps on visitors the minute they walk in the door

Absolutely freaks out when left alone for more than 15 minutes for any reason

I see snip snip in your future...