Closing Time: So how's the weather down there? ...Enjoy Your Summer; I'll just sit here in my parka.

Winter #1-2009
In Training- J. Agosto Saldivar

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so cold and wet. Its always hot in Paraguay right? What a cruel joke. Misery ensues. Showers are dreaded.  I go into the bathroom fully clothed, boots and all, shower in a tiny dribble of warm water and then slip my arms into the sleeves of my three jackets in one smooth motion since they now fit together like one giant jacket.  Showers become infrequent and are taken mostly to show the host family I’m not an unhygienic person.  

What am I wearing? Its been so long since I’ve take my clothes off I don’t remember.  Business Casual dress code in training? Very funny, I'll just keep wearing my pajama shirt because I’m not going to take off my megajacket anyway. Popcorn and mandarins for a snack during class are a sanity saver.

Winter #2-2010
In Campo 9

In site, in my own house, with a space heater, and water bottle and two sleeping bags.  Ok I can handle this. I want to go to bed at 7pm, but try to stay up until 8-9pm, wake up at 10am when it starts to warm up.  Showers meh, ever 2-3days.

Winter #3-2011 and #4-2012
In San Ignacio

Winter, you are my bitch.  I've got this shit down.  Rarely use the space heater, two water bottles, exercise at night to warm up my feet before bed. Shower almost every night after exercising. Bring it!

Summer #1- 2010
In Campo 9

Little uncomfortable at the host familys house since my room gets super hot, but I don’t see what all of the fuss is about. Siesta time- best time to be out and about walking around without being harassed since there is no one on the street.  Adopt my trademark style of wide brimmed hat o senora style umbrella for shade whenever walking around and the sun is up.

Summer #2-2011
In Campo 9

Easy peasy.  I’m in my own house that faces east and is almost completely covered by shade due to large trees on the westside of the house. The dust is annoying, but I don’t care anymore.  Living la vida sweaty and dusty.  Ok this siesta thing is pretty cool.  Lets all just take it easy and chill out.

Summer #3 2012
In San Ignacio

DYYYYYYYYing.  Oh My God Help Me I’m EFFING MELTING!!!!  Partially nocturnal: wake up at 11am or noon, 1pm if I’m lucky. Start off at the hottest part of the day and it only gets cooler.  Bedtime around 2-4am. 

No water inside the house after New Year’s.  Water outside turns on between 10pm and 1am.  Thanks to the intense drought, my neibhorhood being located on a slight slope up away from the centro, and the haphazard system of leaky and mismatched pipes bringing the water to my house. Washing clothes at 2am, yea I’m good like that.  Strategically placed 2-liter bottles all of the house where the water used to be.  

Siesta?? Um that’s when I wake up breakfast = lunch.  Still rocking the hat and umbrella, but since I’m avoiding the sun these days I don’t actually use them much.  Siesta for the non nocturnal is still not for sleeping since its too hot.  However we all need to sit and be quiet for a little bit lest we develop heat rage and start kicking puppies, small children, the wall, or whatever is nearby.  

The heat is making me into a bad person. Keep you distance until after dark or the rain clouds roll in. I'm going to cry now from frustration and heat exhaustion. I think I’m going to die…water, shade. Help. Make it stop.